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Chapter 1: The Art of the Pretend Smile

Sophie knew she was in trouble the moment Gerald walked into the room. He was the kind of person who could turn even the most riveting topic into a dull monologue. Yet, as he approached her, she plastered on a smile—a smile that could fool the best of them. Pretending to enjoy Gerald’s company had become an art form, one that Sophie had mastered over years of polite, yet soul-crushing, social interactions.

Gerald started talking, something about his latest fascination with antique clock mechanisms. Sophie nodded at appropriate intervals, her mind wandering far away from the tick-tock of Gerald’s dreary discourse. But on the surface, she was the picture of rapt attention.

"Ah, the intricacies of the Swiss lever escapement," Gerald droned on, oblivious to the glazed look creeping into Sophie’s eyes. She fought it off, forcing herself to focus on the one thing that would get her through this interaction: her carefully curated mental checklist of survival tactics.

1. The Nod and Agree: The cornerstone of pretending to like someone’s company is the well-timed nod. It’s important not to overdo it, lest you appear like a bobblehead doll. Sophie had perfected a slight, slow nod that indicated she was both listening and contemplating Gerald’s words, even if she was actually thinking about what to have for dinner.

2. The Echo: Repeating the last few words of what the other person said can create the illusion of deep engagement. When Gerald mentioned "Swiss lever escapement," Sophie mirrored back, "Swiss lever escapement, fascinating." It was a trick as old as time, and it never failed.

3. Strategic Questions: To show interest, Sophie knew she had to ask questions—ones that were open-ended enough to keep Gerald talking but vague enough that she didn’t have to pay too much attention to the details. "How did you first become interested in clocks?" she asked, fully prepared to zone out as Gerald delved into the origins of his obsession.

Sophie’s strategy worked like a charm. Gerald’s face lit up as he launched into a story about his grandfather’s pocket watch. As he spoke, Sophie’s mind wandered to her own grandfather, who had the good sense to collect coins instead of clocks—silent, unassuming coins that never required lengthy explanations.

In the back of her mind, Sophie knew that pretending to like someone’s company wasn’t just about surviving the moment. It was about preserving the delicate social fabric that kept her world in order. If she could keep Gerald happy with a few nods and well-placed questions, she could avoid the awkwardness of letting him know just how little she cared about the Swiss lever escapement.

By the time Gerald finally paused for breath, Sophie was ready with her next move: the Escape Plan. She glanced at her watch—one of those modern digital ones that would probably horrify Gerald—and feigned surprise. "Oh dear, look at the time! I have a meeting in five minutes," she said, with just the right amount of regret in her voice.

Gerald seemed disappointed, but Sophie’s expert escape had done the trick. As she made her way out of the room, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. But it quickly passed. After all, she had mastered the art of pretending to like someone’s company, and in a world full of Geralds, it was a skill she couldn’t afford to lose. ×